Arthur Kalmeyer (art_of_arts) wrote,
Arthur Kalmeyer
art_of_arts

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К американским выборам Президента: "RUN HILLARY RUN!!!"

FINALLY, someone has come out with a 100% bipartisan political bumper sticker. The hottest selling bumper sticker comes from New York state...

"RUN HILLARY RUN!!!"

DEMOCRATS: Put It On The Rear Bumper

REPUBLICANS: Put It On The Front Bumper
* * * * *

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Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic athlete. But she was not athletic enough. She said she wanted to be an astronaut, but at the time they didn't take women. She said she wanted to go into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy.
Should she be telling people this story? I mean she's basically saying she wants to be president because she can't do anything else.
- Jay Leno

Well, the big story -- Hillary Clinton will be running for president in 2008. You know why I think she's running? I think she finally wants to see what it's like to sleep in the president's bed.
- Jay Leno

Top Democrats have mixed feelings about Sen. Hillary Clinton running for president. Apparently, some Democrats don't like the idea, while others hate it.
- Conan O'Brien

In a fiery speech this weekend, Hillary Clinton wondered why President Bush can't find the tallest man in Afghanistan. Probably for the same reason she couldn't find the fattest intern under the desk.
- Jay Leno

Former President Bill Clinton said that if his wife, Hillary, is elected president, he will do whatever she wants. You know Bill Clinton -- when he makes a vow to Hillary, you can take that to the bank.
- Jay Leno

Hillary Clinton said today that she wants legislation to allow all ex-felons to vote. See, this way all the Clinton's former business partners can vote for her in 2008.
- Jay Leno

Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoirs have come out. So much of her personality shines through, that in the end, you, too, will want to sleep with an intern.
- Craig Kilborn

In Hillary Clinton's new book 'Living History,' Hillary details what it was like meeting Bill Clinton, falling in love with him, getting married, and living a passionate, wonderful life as husband and wife.
Then on page two, the trouble starts.
- Jay Leno

In the book, she says when Bill told her he was having an affair, she said "I could hardly breathe, I was gulping for air.
No, I'm sorry, that's what Monica said.
-- David Letterman

Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family.
- David Letterman

Last night, Senator Hillary Clinton hosted her first party in her new home in Washington. People said it was a lot like the parties she used to host at the White House. In fact, even the furniture was the same.
- Jay Leno

Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking President Bush for breaking his campaign promise to cut carbon dioxide emissions, saying a promise made, a promise broken. And then out of habit, she demanded that Bush spend the night on the couch.
- Craig Kilborn

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.
- Jay Leno

Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from the great state of New York. When they swore her in, she used the Clinton family Bible... the one with only seven commandments.
- David Letterman

_____________________________________________________________________________

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have".

The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please".

The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had.

The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ"

The man answered "Oh, about 164."

The robot then proceeded to discuss the theory of relativity, interstellar space travel, the latest medical break-through's, etc.

The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tact. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have. "A martini please".

Again it was superb. The robot again asked. "What is your IQ sir" .

This time t he man answered, "Oh, about 100".

The robot started discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this weekend.

The guy had to t ry it one more time. He left, returned and took a stool. Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ" .

This time the man drawled out, "Uh... about 50".

The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked...

A-r-e......... y-o-u-r......... p-e-o-p-l-e..........g-o-i-n-g...........
t-o........ n-o-m-i-n-a-t-e.......... H-i-l-l-a-r-y-?????


HILLARY'S DREAM
Driving Miss Hillary


Photobucket

 
Tags: Америка
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